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HomeMy WebLinkAboutFor boys, all-male environments can be an abusive, toxic place OPINION - Globe& Mail - 11/24/2018 - Globe& Mail - 11/24/201811/26/2018 For boys, all-male environments can be an abusive, toxic place - The Globe and Mail For boys, all-male environments can be an abusive, toxic place RACHEL GIESE S IP Iliii. C II A II... TO 111 N Iliii. t".ii IL..0 B l:: A IN II::) IM A 11 11 IIlUII1II...II HII:'ID 3 DAYS GO Rachel Giese is the editorial director of Xtra and the author of Boys: What it Means to Become a Man Even rendered in the careful, dispassionate language of news reports, the descriptions of videos taken at Toronto's St. Michael's College School are disturbing: Multiple scenes of alleged violence against boys by a gang of their classmates. In one, an alleged threat; in another, an alleged assault with a belt. But worse are the two that initially came to light after circulating on social media. The first depicts an alleged physical assault by a group, and the second an alleged gang sexual assault. Filming the attacks and then circulating them was presumably intended to amplify the alleged victims' suffering through the humiliation of public exposure. But the unintended result is that the videos at last provide evidence of what many former and current students allege is as an endemic problem of violence and intimidation at https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-for-boys-all-male-environments-can-be-an-abusive-toxic-place/ 1/5 11/26/2018 For boys, all-male environments can be an abusive, toxic place - The Globe and Mail That the silence about this toxic culture has persisted for so long is not surprising. Children and teenagers who experience physical and sexual abuse are reluctant to disclose it. A 2010 study by University of Toronto social -work professor Ramona Alaggia noted that 60 per cent to 80 per cent of children who experience sexual abuse don't tell anyone until they reach adulthood. The reasons are multiple: They are intimidated into silence, they are confused and ashamed, or they don't think they'll be believed. And, of course, many institutions — the Catholic Church chief among them — have gone to extraordinary lengths to cover up and deny their histories of rampant sexual abuse of children. For boys, there is also the specific stigma brought on by societal messaging about what it means to be a man. Prof. Alaggia writes that men who were sexually abused as children or teenagers "reported being profoundly affected by prevailing attitudes about masculinity and images of men as supposed to be immune to victimization or as being perceived as inadequate when victimized." In other words, boys who are abused often don't speak up or ask for help for fear that being a victim will make them appear unmanly or weak. Homophobia is central to this. Straight boys are afraid of being perceived as gay, and gay and bisexual boys worry that they will be outed or blamed if they talk about their abuse. All-male, fraternal environments such as boys -only schools, sports teams and fraternities magnify these gender dynamics and biases. British psychotherapist Joy https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-for-boys-all-male-environments-can-be-an-abusive-toxic-place/ 2/5 11/26/2018 For boys, all-male environments can be an abusive, toxic place - The Globe and Mail S ...r 0 IR:Y C 0 IV ...r l N ..1 f::::.S 113 If::::: IL... O \N Al. V If::::: IR ...1f l a If::::: IM If::::: IN ...1.. ,,, r , Illi And as would be expected, these hypermasculine societies and arenas not only support a culture of aggression and abuse, but celebrate it as tradition in hazing and initiation rituals that range from mild mortification to severe physical and sexual assault. Perpetrators depend on the codes of masculinity and brotherhood — "boys don't cry" and "snitches get stitches" — to keep this behaviour a secret. American sociologist Lisa Wade has studied the epidemic of deaths, injuries and abuse at college fraternity parties. She writes that "fraternities have drink, danger and debauchery in their https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-for-boys-all-male-environments-can-be-an-abusive-toxic-place/ 3/5 11/26/2018 For boys, all-male environments can be an abusive, toxic place - The Globe and Mail 13,1"' 'f C l! l'> C assault to speak out about what he says happened to him 30 years ago, in the hope of supporting others. "As a man," he said in a recent TV news report, "there's this added stigma. I know that this young man is dealing with that stigma. Other men need to reach in and step up." F:011 11 ow us 014 ..�.. ii..�....�..ii:::. iii G ILO IB IE ID IE. IB TIE iIz II : Ifs 0 R TA IN [:.: R R 0 R wu� II � II) II .T.0 R II A 11 C 0II) IL::: 0 F: C 0 IC;) u,.0 C G/////% Co 114 11 E.. IN TS A iii ii::: C ii...0 s F: l) We have closed comments on this story for legal reasons or for abuse, For more information on our commenting policies and how our community-based moderation works® please read our Community Guidelines and our Terms and Conditions. St. Michael's Coll.ege presidetit, princip;.,q resign amid student sex iSSallft probe Former St. Michael's students share stories of bullying dating back decades ' .h..e prob euns with all boys schools https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-for-boys-all-male-environments-can-be-an-abusive-toxic-place/ 4/5 11/26/2018 For boys, all-male environments can be an abusive, toxic place - The Globe and Mail ...... ... I I I 3 _. mornling Update: GM closing Oshawa plant; abandoned wells piling up in oil patch 4General Motors to shut down Oshawa plant in global restructuring 5 Even if back to work, Canada Post is still plagued by deeper issues �, " 111,1111 S & C 0 114 ') I "r I 0 11111, S C 0 k"41 111111/11 U 1111 6'r YG IJ. ;""' " l 111 �, 5 'Y' 7, I V A C Y I 0 - VC Y I3 I 5 C - A I l r�,l',R, 5 U I3 S C ILII .11, ;""' , .), S i 111, I, S S S 2,11 V I C L, 5 C 0 '4 "'r A C (" U S A R Z 5 R,, V lS A I3 f lU "'r US Co p y,, I [r 20 18 G ',l �.j'" d[ , "� ' I � � I r I g �, dr. . 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